Christmas Bealtes

“So this is Christmas and what have you done? Another year over, a new once just begun” These classic lines were not sung by the popular bug that appears in Australia around this time of year - but by the infamous John Lennon in his the song entitled Happy Xmas. I found it interesting how it popped into my mind as I was walking through the bush the other day. At first I was flooded with fond childhood memories as my mind took a stroll down memory lane. I recalled the time when we learned the lyrics in preparation for the school Christmas fare when I was in year five. But then my mind quickly moved forward, shifting its focus to the festivities that occur at this time of year.

The holiday season is renowned for end of year celebrations. It’s a time to catch up with those nearest and dearest to us. In most cases this involves friends and family members who (for whatever reason) we have not kept in touch with as frequently as we know that we should have. And what occurs? I dare say the same thing that happens every other year. We exchange pleasantries, ask one another how the others family has been and then what they have been up to. Let me ask you this though - How many of you have found yourself automatically replying with ‘not much’, ‘just the usual’ or ‘nothing exciting’ when the question is asked ‘How have you been?’ or ‘What have you been up to?’ I dare say if you are anything like me or my family it will be the majority of you. And why is this? Is it really the case that nothing has happened in the past 12 months? Until I took the time to ponder this question the other day I really thought that when I responded with the above answers I was responding honestly to their questions. I thought that I lived a fairly boring life where nothing much happened - it really was the same thing and a apart from the daily grind. Perhaps you can relate to this kind of feeling?

 But what if I was to tell you that there is the possibility that you have been lying to yourself and those that you love? You should be ashamed of yourself - after all this is Christmas and lies make baby Jesus cry haha. Relax though - it’s not your fault - as usual it is just the way that we are designed. The human mind is a goal seeking machine. It will set out to achieve a task and then before the dust has even settled will look for the next task to move onto in order to keep itself busy. It seeks out new things to focus on in order to acquire the stimulation that it desires. It’s this natural process that sees us forget the achievements that we have just made regardless of their magnitude.

To give you an example here are a few things that I realised I have done in the last 12 months while I was walking along the trail. Keep in mind I thought that I lived an extremely boring life and at times would wonder what I would talk to people about when interacting at different social events:

• I surpassed some of the financial goals that I set
• I travelled to Cape Town in South Africa for business and had the most amazing meal as the sun set over the ocean at Capes Bay
• I holidayed in Bali for a couple of weeks
• Did a wine tour through the Swan Valley
• I visited the Margaret River for the weekend - and even rode a camel
• I flew to Broome for a few days with one of my best friends
• I attended the Melbourne Cup and had a piggy back ride on the actual track during the day
• I attended a 10 day silent meditation course in the Blue Mountains and studied under a Buddhist Guru
• I made some amazing new friends who I will have for the rest of my life
• I started a blog I didn’t really wanted to start and ended up finding a passion for sharing this stuff with others

I also tried and failed many things including:

• I tried to learnFrench - my teacher ended the professional relationship via a SMS after a few weeks of struggle
• I tried to learn to dance - when we turned up there were no girls to dance with so the teacher made my brother and I dance together. After  minutes he went to the toilet and never came back - I was forced to dance on alone like the sole wolf in a one man wolf pack
• I attempted to woo a number of women unsuccessfully
• And many others - trust me the list is too long and embarrassing to to go on

Now why am I telling you all of this? Am I doing it to impress you? No to the contrary. I am doing it to impress upon you the idea that you are probably living a far more interesting life then you give yourself credit for. You are  trying and achieving different things but as soon as they are done your mind is looking for the next thing to move on to and as a result the experience that you have just been involved in has been forgotten and left in your wake. The idea of this post is to encourage you to take a few minutes to take stock of the last 12 months. Re-examine the year that has been. There may be things you forgot all about and that bring a smile to your face when you think about them. It will make you appreciate life, who you are and what you have been through. When you do this write them down  and don’t just think of them in your head. Am I doing this to be difficult? No - if you write it down they seem more real and you can see the sheer number of things that you have done. 

Once you have done this I encourage you to take a moment to think about if this lives up to the type of life you want to be living? Does it meet the level of fun and excitement that you deserve? And what is not on your list that you would like to have achieved? Write the things that you think are missing in another list and you then have yourself a to-do list for the next 12 months - this time you will have something to cross off and something to be conscious of as you proceed through the next year. In the new year I will be writing a series of blogs about who to go about achieving your goals so hold on to this list.

At the very least  do the first part of the exercise it will give you something to talk to others about over the next few days over Christmas. Wouldn’t it be nice to answer with something other then ‘not much’, ‘just the usual’ or ‘nothing exciting’? Share your experiences with those you love. After all it is the season of giving!

There will be some exciting new developments in the new year. I plan to move this blog to its own website and rebrand it. If anyone has any ideas on names for the new website I would love to hear it. Feel free to post suggestions on the Facebook page or email them through to honeyishrunkthevids@gmail.com

Until we meet again.

Dan

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Three song commitment

Today’s blog is for those who often struggle for motivation. It is a simple trick to overcome procrastination but in no way aimed to delve into the deeper reason behind why you avoiding undertaking tasks in certain areas of your life - that’s more personal and would required one on one coaching. I heard about this technique from a friend and I really liked it. As the title suggests there is music involved. The reason for this is twofold. The first reason being one that the music will distract you and allow you to get into the spirit of things and tackle the task. The second reason is that people tend to have a very emotional response to music - they not only hear it but they really feel the songs that they love and it causes a shift in the way they experience the situation - if we can harness the emotion that you attach to each song and link or anchor it to the task you may find that it starts to change the way you feel about the task as you do it each time.

So what will you need? Three of your favourite songs - now only you will know the songs for this - I would suggest that they would be the ones that you turn up when you hear them on the radio, the ones that lift your spirit when you hear them played or for some of you they will be the ones that you sing at the top of your lungs when your drunk on a Friday or Saturday night. Now once you have these three songs you will need an mp3 player, cd player, walkman or if you are my Nan a record player - hey this blog doesn’t discriminate on age - as far as I am concerned it’s never too late to take steps to improve yourself and the way that you experience the world around you. 

Now the next time you think of a task you don’t want to do, and not only not want to do, but  you successfully manage to continually put off put the music on and make a commitment that you will apply yourself for three songs. You can do that right? Three songs is nothing. It will be anywhere between 6 -12 minutes depending on the songs that you have selected. The time will fly by in an instant. It will be over with the click of a finger.

Now here is the rational behind it. The reason we tend to put tasks off that we think they are too large or will take too much time complete - we never give ourselves the chance to get started and never gain any momentum because all we see is the mountain that lay before us. By attacking the task with the technique outlined above you overcome this issue because you are not committing to finishing the task, you are not making any promises as to how far through it you will get - all you are committing to is applying a dedicated effort for as long as the three songs run for - the three songs that you enjoy and that will be a pleasure to listen to. The music will help side track you and pump you up. And here is the thing - it’s surprising how much momentum you can gain once you start something. Before you know it the three songs are over and you may decide to continue working on the task or you may decide to stop - the choice is yours as you already fulfilled your three songs commitment. 

So give it a go and see if it makes a difference. This works in all areas of your life - think cleaning, the gym, studying, starting assignments, writing reports etc. Just think of all of the areas of your life that you can apply this to. I’ve started using it lately and have found it has made a tremendous difference. In fact I’m listening to music as we speak and I have gone way past the initial three songs that I committed to.

Now before I sign off today I wanted to share something with you. I heard this the other day that struck a chord with me. In previous blogs we have looked at the idea that as individuals we assign meanings to events - an event is just an event - the meaning that you assign to it is based on your previous experiences. I was listening to another audio book the other day and the reader described this idea slightly differently - its funny how we can hear the same thing time and time again and then hearing it put in a slightly different manner causes a shift and for things to finally click. The idea that he shared and the question he posed can be summated as follows: We are the sculptor of our lives and have the ability to shape the way that we see and experience the world, how is it then that we forget we have this power, and so many of us end up living our lives not as sculptors but as sculptures?

I’ll leave you with that thought. Give the exercise a try in the next couple of days and see how you go - as usual I would love to hear about your experience with it and answer any questions that you may have.

Until we meet again.

Dan

Big Jet Plane

What does the number one song from last years Triple J Hottest 100 have to do with self development? A little, a lot or maybe nothing depending on how you want to look at it. Remember it is all about the meaning that you CHOOSE to assign to it. Today’s entry is going to be short but don’t be fooled by it’s size. My hope is that it will have a major impact on your unconscious mind and help you to spread your wings and change the way you view your own personal flight to where you want to be.

So what’s the link? I was driving in the car today and I heard the song. Not unusual since I have heard it hundreds of times before. For those who are not familiar with the song its about two people (lovers) who take a ride or a journey together. There’s not a lot of words to the song so it is an easy one to create whatever meaning that you want. It got me thinking about the journey of self discovery that many of you are going through. Believe it or not there are two people on your journey. The first is the person that you are now - the you that is likely feeling restricted and trying to live up to the expectations of others and the second is real you, the you that you were born to be and that you are gradually beginning to see...

There is no denying that journey that you are on will have it’s ups and downs - I am not one of those coaches who will promise you that it will be a smooth trip where the seat belt sign will remain off and everything will change in an instant. No, there will be times where you will want to give up and think to yourself what is the point of this? Or I have worked so hard and I am still not where I want to be. When this happens I ask that you take a deep breath and remember my post from a couple of weeks ago where we talked about the idea that it is more about the journey then the end outcome. If you enjoy yourself along the way and the things that you can learn from those ups and downs you will find it far more rewarding than if you just focus on the end objective. Often what happens is people work so hard at achieving something that when they get there it is not how they expected it to be - if they didn’t enjoy the journey and the process if getting there they run the risk of feeling disappointed, disheartened or cheated - so enjoy the trip itself. When things happen and they seem like the end of the world ask yourself is it really a big deal? Is this still something that will bother me in a week, a month, a year, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years? Or will it be something that I have forgotten or look back and laugh at how silly I was to place so much emphasis on at the time?

The idea of today’s title and discussing the song was to link it to the following fact that I read a while ago about planes and the trips that many of you take on them all the time. Did you know that when you fly from one point to another that 90% of the time you are actually off course? How do you still get to you end destination then? It is because the pilot doesn’t freak out when the ups and downs occur or things blow the plane off target. He remains calm, understands that he can not control the conditions - he can only control his reactions to the conditions. He looks at what has occurred and what needs to happen next. He looks for what he can learn from what just happened and makes minor adjustments to his approach so that he can achieve his objective. And you know what? Almost every time he gets to where he wants to be...

Something to think about.

I am currently putting together a new promotion. If you click the like button on my page in the top left hand corner you will go in the draw for an hours one on one coaching with me. I will be randomly drawing a name out for ever 50 people that click like.

Enjoy the clip below and until we meet again.

Dan