The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step

Over the last few years I have read more then a hundred books in the area of NLP and personal development. It has been a love hate relationship with many books giving me things that have helped me to make positive changes in my life and shifts in the way I think , whilst others have promised to hold the key to rapid success and instant change. It has been an interesting journey full of ups and downs but I have learned a lot and wouldn’t change it for anything. I love the famous quote ‘The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step’ - something about it feels congruent with my own personal journey and the way that I view change. I believe whole heartedly that change can occur in an instant but only if the individual is ready for that change and ready to do whatever it takes to improve their situation. Often change involves a pilgrimage to get to the tipping point; steps that the individual must undertakes to get to a point where they are ready to make that change. Whether it’s a thousand miles or two steps to your goal it won’t occur unless you take that first step out of your comfort zone. Today’s blog outlines 6 of the major realisations I have had over that journey.

     

1. Both you and life will never be perfect

I can hear your jaws drop! Isn’t that the idea of all of this self development stuff? I guess that depends on your goals. You need to be realistic. If you adopt this way of thinking you will naturally start to feel the pressure dissolve. You don’t need to be anything else - you are perfect the way you are - its simple that you chose to further enhance areas of your life. Where most people come unstuck is that they embark on this journey, make some good progress but then hit a speed bump and quit. It’s not possible for everything to go right in life - unless the stars somehow perfectly align, the moon sits at just the right angle from the earth and the gravitational pull of the other planets is just right. There are going to be ups and downs in everyone's lives. Through developing your self awareness and gaining new skills you will still experience these ups and downs but the difference is that you will have the tools and resources you need to be able to navigate through the storm, to take the bull by the horns and pull yourself out of it much quicker then you once would have conceived as possible. You will also be able to identify actions that you take in life that lead to these types of pit falls allowing you to use each hurdle as an exercise to learn from and develop alternatives to so that you don’t have the same issue in the future. This is a continuous process so enjoy it.

     

2. The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result.

True isn’t it? Yet so many of us wonder why we are still unhappy, don’t have the ideal relationship or the dream job. If you don’t mix things up and try new things how do you expect to get to a different place in your life. Try something new and you never know what you may find...but I guarantee it will be something you never would have found had you not taken that first step.

3. The power of chunking and flag post

This one can be extremely powerful and is something that a future blog will delve into more deeply. Dreaming big can often be daunting and stops many people from chasing their goals. Chunking helps to break this major goal down into a series of small goals within the main goal - steps that you can take to move towards the final outcome. These act as flag posts to let you know where you are up to - once you have achieved each one you can take a moment to pause, appreciate the work you have done and the success you have achieved, look for any adjustments you may need to make to the plan before surging towards your next mini goal.

    

4. Just do it! 

It’s the catchy slogan that made Nike billions! Often the first step is the hardest because of emphasis that we place on it - we tend to create a mountain out of a mole hill. So what if you fail? Does it change who you are? Does it make you a failure? Or does it elevate you into that small group of people who had the courage to step up and not settle for less then they deserve? Once you have your small chunks and your flag posts take an action - any action is better then no action. The key is to take at least one action straight away otherwise there is the risk you will continue to put it off. If you start you may be surprises how much things begin to snowball in the right direction

 

5. The thing you need to do most is the one that you will avoid

Despite what you may or may not want to believe this is true. It is our natural tendency to avoid that which we think is difficult - we will make excuses like we don’t have enough time or I’ve already done so much to improve or I’m tired. Excuses are just that...excuses. If you have 10 things to do and you do 9 of them and avoid the one that would have the biggest impact are you cheating yourself? Is it better to have 9 tiny wins or one major win that would cause a complete shift in the way that you experience life. As a coach I would prefer you to take that one action out of 10 that you don’t want to do rather then the 9 that you can do easily. Why? Is it because I am cruel? No it’s because that one thing is the one that will make the biggest difference. When you are doing some of this stuff look for the one you least want to do and just do it - the voice in your head may even try to trick you and tell you that it has no relevance to you simply because it doesn’t want to have to confront that part of its life.

And finally

6. It’s not about the destination its about the journey

We get so focused on the end outcome that we forget to take time to enjoy the process that we go through to get to the final result. This way of thinking carries a major risk. If you achieve the goal and it doesn’t bring the desired result that you were seeking e.g. money, success, happiness etc there is the risk that you will become disappointed, disheartened and wonder what the point of trying really is anyway - which is not a resourceful state to be in or a place you want to be. Take time to stop and appreciate the progress you are making along the way, enjoy the successes that you are have and soak up the experiences that you have along the way whether that be the people you meet, the skills you learn, the hurdles you overcome or the strengths you identify in yourself that you weren’t aware even existed. If you live in this manner you will enjoy life a lot more and achieving the end goal will just be the icing on the top of everything.

I hope these things help to make the difference in your life and that you can apply them to your own personal journey.

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Until we meet again

Dan