What is a presupposition you ask and what on Earth does it have to do with missiles and bullets?
As usual I’ll get to it in good time, slowly but surely attempting to link the two in a way that makes it click for you and where you presently are in your life.
As usual I’ll get to it in good time, slowly but surely attempting to link the two in a way that makes it click for you and where you presently are in your life.
A presupposition is a basic belief or assumption. Whether we care to admit it or not we all have presuppositions in certain areas of our lives or about the people that are part of it. An example would be something that happened to me the other day. I purchased something from the shop, got it home and realised that it was not what I needed. I assumed that it would be a drama to get a refund and I created a belief or presupposition about what would need to occur - the presupposition i was using at the time was ‘ life can be difficult’. It turned out it was wrong and it was actually a simple process.
If you cast your mind back to the last blog we looked at some of the beliefs that you may have about yourself and your capabilities. This belief could be classed as a presupposition - an assumption about how you will act or if you are able to achieve the outcome. These presuppositions can be a real thorn in our side; a hinderance to us reaching our goals and dreams.
But what if we could use them more wisely? What if there was a way to use them as a tool to achieve what we want to achieve or as a form of ammunition to drive you forward? (Now you see the link).
Well the founders of NLP already thought of this and came up of a list of presuppositions - There are around 15 that are commonly accepted amongst the community. Todays blog however will look at my favourite few presuppositions and explain them so that you can begin applying them immediately to the various areas of you life. Remember the idea behind a presupposition is to take each one as a given and accept the concept without proof when you are applying it to the area of your choice - don’t question it whilst in the act. As usual if you apply it and it doesn’t work for you - we’ll just simply discard it and move on to one that does work for you.
But what if we could use them more wisely? What if there was a way to use them as a tool to achieve what we want to achieve or as a form of ammunition to drive you forward? (Now you see the link).
Well the founders of NLP already thought of this and came up of a list of presuppositions - There are around 15 that are commonly accepted amongst the community. Todays blog however will look at my favourite few presuppositions and explain them so that you can begin applying them immediately to the various areas of you life. Remember the idea behind a presupposition is to take each one as a given and accept the concept without proof when you are applying it to the area of your choice - don’t question it whilst in the act. As usual if you apply it and it doesn’t work for you - we’ll just simply discard it and move on to one that does work for you.
We have already covered one so far in this series - ‘The map is not the territory’ which is the idea that the event that occurs is just that - an event - it is how we perceive this event and what we associate to it that creates the meaning. Because we have already covered this in previous blogs we will move on and have a look at a few more. For those of you who have just joined I’d recommend having a look back through previous blogs for further information on this one.
There is no such thing as failure - only feedback
Think back to when you were a baby - this may be difficult for some so instead think about the last time you watched a small child. As they start to grow they will begin to crawl and then walk. At first they struggle but they simply have a go. They try to stand up only to fall back down. They get up again completely expecting to succeed - failure is not even a consideration they just apply what they learned in the previous attempt and continue to try until they succeed. But as we grow up something happens. We begin to worry that we won’t succeed and fear the idea of failure.
What happened the last time you failed? Its likely nothing major but we fear the idea of being considered a failure by others - which is more of a creation than a reality. What would you do if you couldn’t fail? The possibilities are endless. So try it on. Forget failure - there's no such thing - there is only feedback - feedback to guide you and let you know what changes you need to make to navigate successfully towards your desired outcome.
Think back to when you were a baby - this may be difficult for some so instead think about the last time you watched a small child. As they start to grow they will begin to crawl and then walk. At first they struggle but they simply have a go. They try to stand up only to fall back down. They get up again completely expecting to succeed - failure is not even a consideration they just apply what they learned in the previous attempt and continue to try until they succeed. But as we grow up something happens. We begin to worry that we won’t succeed and fear the idea of failure.
What happened the last time you failed? Its likely nothing major but we fear the idea of being considered a failure by others - which is more of a creation than a reality. What would you do if you couldn’t fail? The possibilities are endless. So try it on. Forget failure - there's no such thing - there is only feedback - feedback to guide you and let you know what changes you need to make to navigate successfully towards your desired outcome.
ONLY 
Underlying every behaviour is a positive intention
This can be a hard one to swallow. You know people out there (maybe even you) that continually sabotage themselves and their relationship. When things are heading in the right direction they do something seeming stupid and everything then comes undone. Maybe you even know people who you think are deliberately doing things just to frustrate you - sound familiar? This presupposition looks at the idea that behind everyone of these seemingly negative actions that there is a positive intent - the individual is getting something out of taking that action. For example if someone is on the road to success and they do something stupid to bring it all crashing down - they gained something out of taking the action that caused the situation to unravel. Perhaps they did it subconsciously because they did not feel deserving of success or capable of succeeding - despite how much they say that they want it. By bringing it undone they give themselves confirmation that they are not good enough which aligns with the persona they have long created - they do not have to challenge the whole reality of who they they believe themselves to be for al of those years and the time that they have wasted- which would be more painful. Make sense? Or they may do something to sabotage the relationship because that way their partner won’t get too close - pain now is better than pain later on if they let someone in only to lose them.
If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else
This one seems so simple yet so many of us continue to do the same things over and over and wonder why we never achieve the outcome that we so desperately desire. In fact Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Flexibility is an essential component of getting the results that you want. Have a look at the areas in your life that you deem as less than satisfactory and determine if it is the result of a lack of flexibility in the actions you take. Are you doing the same things over and over and expecting something different to occur? Be honest with yourself. Is there something else that you could try that may lead you in directions of where you want to be?
This can be a hard one to swallow. You know people out there (maybe even you) that continually sabotage themselves and their relationship. When things are heading in the right direction they do something seeming stupid and everything then comes undone. Maybe you even know people who you think are deliberately doing things just to frustrate you - sound familiar? This presupposition looks at the idea that behind everyone of these seemingly negative actions that there is a positive intent - the individual is getting something out of taking that action. For example if someone is on the road to success and they do something stupid to bring it all crashing down - they gained something out of taking the action that caused the situation to unravel. Perhaps they did it subconsciously because they did not feel deserving of success or capable of succeeding - despite how much they say that they want it. By bringing it undone they give themselves confirmation that they are not good enough which aligns with the persona they have long created - they do not have to challenge the whole reality of who they they believe themselves to be for al of those years and the time that they have wasted- which would be more painful. Make sense? Or they may do something to sabotage the relationship because that way their partner won’t get too close - pain now is better than pain later on if they let someone in only to lose them.
If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else
This one seems so simple yet so many of us continue to do the same things over and over and wonder why we never achieve the outcome that we so desperately desire. In fact Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Flexibility is an essential component of getting the results that you want. Have a look at the areas in your life that you deem as less than satisfactory and determine if it is the result of a lack of flexibility in the actions you take. Are you doing the same things over and over and expecting something different to occur? Be honest with yourself. Is there something else that you could try that may lead you in directions of where you want to be?
So try these three presuppositions out. They may sound simple but I assure you that if you are diligent in applying them to the different areas of your life you will see a major change in how effective and efficient you are. You will tackle things head on rather than cowering from the fear that once blinded you, ditch the old ineffective actions that you once persisted with - all the time thinking that it would work out if you tried it just one more time. You will be able to identify the positive intent behind the actions that have been sabotaging you, and address the underlying issue and adopt new alternatives that will help you achieve the well formed outcome that we looked at a few blogs ago...how’s that going anyway?
To ensure that you receive all of the latest postings visit my Facebook page and click on the ‘Like’ button.http://www.facebook.com/pages/Honey-I-Shrunk-the-Vids/256234771090470
Until we meet again.
Dan
To ensure that you receive all of the latest postings visit my Facebook page and click on the ‘Like’ button.http://www.facebook.com/pages/Honey-I-Shrunk-the-Vids/256234771090470
Until we meet again.
Dan
No comments:
Post a Comment